OK. So you don't want me there?

You want to do it yourself? Fine.

Well, I guess you can make balloon animals, then? You've actually practised a little? You've got the answers? You can deal with the WUSSIES? The TEARS?
And the children? Can you deal with them? Here is the full FREE DIY PartyPlan for a party for children &/or adults.

This DIY PartyPlan has been tested in magazines, it has been used by the BBC, B&Q, Dentists (staff days!), many many Mums & Dads
It REALLY is easy to do - the party runs itself with just these few ideas and very little preparation.

OK. Well here are the ideas. Hope they're useful. Tell me if they are/not!!

STAGE 1 - Preparation

Don't print off sheets of instructions for them. Waste of time. Who reads manuals? But do print off my web address so they can practise their new found hobby! And buy balloons and pumps. Share it!

Browse to every page on this site. At the party leave the computer on (offline) and they can see the site. You or they can browse around the various pages, or just leave it on the basic instruction page (with the animation). It adds colour and another way to learn (other than watching you!)

BUY ENOUGH BALLOONS AND SEVERAL PUMPS

STAGE 2 - Action!

Start with TWO safety instructions.
ONE Don't waft the pumps around.
If they go in someones eye, the end gets sticky and they don't pump as well.
TWO Don't put the balloons in your mouth.
You don't know where they've been.

Then you've got TWO secrets.
ONE Leave a 20cm wiggly bit.
TWO Let a little air out before you tie the knot.
Show them

Don't tell them too much. Let them learn from their mistakes. The mistakes are fun! Let them put the balloon on the pump and then try to blow it up. OK - it flies off round the room! So? It's not a school lesson - it is allowed to be fun! Let them discover. This gives you time with those that like to be shown.

Use some of my phrases. " Shake your wiggly bits! " It's not gratuitous humour. You need to see that they are holding the knot end, and that they've left an uninflated bit. If they think it's rude... well!

The fun is in the doing. If you try to control it all, do it all for them make them follow you and LISTEN!! - the whole thing will be over with in five minutes!

Stage 3 - An animal is born

Then OFF WE GO!
Use the EASYPEASY method
Hold up your balloon and
BEND, SQUEEZE & TWIST
Starting at the knot end. That's the nose & ears.
Again - that's the neck & front legs.
Third time - thats the body & back legs. Voila!
Let them try now. You'll have to twist the nose round to face front, twist the legs round so they point down. With some you'll have to show them what they've done. Some people can be really thick - or is it just non-visual? Or is it always the men?

MUSIC? Bend Me Shape me - Amen Corner (60's)
Any other suggestions? Use it when they've all got the hang of it and you're just going round admiring and helping!

Keep handing out balloons - don't let them choose the colour, after all, they're experimenting. Let then experiment! Let them learn that failures don't exist, don't matter. But watch the child that puts bundles in their pocket. Watch the child that just likes blowing dozens up and doing nothing with them. Watch the parents who send their kids to get them. It happens!!

Every now and then tell them that you'll show them once more. Hold a balloon up, shake the wiggly bit - BEND, SQUEEZE & TWIST
I usually show that same simple move umpteen times.

ON NO ACCOUNT DO ANYTHING FOR THEM (except maybe the tinies) - perhaps do the knots for them if they ask.
It IS easy, they CAN do it - perhaps with the tiniest bit of help. The whole point of the exercise is that THEY do it. Wait for the joy on their faces when they do create some being that barely has the wherewithall to crawl out of the gene pool! Especially adults - they are SO chuffed!

STAGE 4 - The PET & MUTANT SHOW

It is difficult keeping control. So don't. If you just step back a little you'll see they're buzzing, talking, showing, trying. They will all be at different stages, all eager to shout to you. I like it! Every now and then you'll need to call halt - use a whistle.

Half way through you may need to stop and change direction. This is to do with managing a group and is particularly useful with adults or older children. They may have lost a bit of interest. You need to keep a rhythm - build up excitement, slow down, build up again. So have a PET & MUTANT SHOW.

Each person has to come up show their animal off, tell you what it is and it's name. If it looks awful, ask how long it will live. Ask if they know what evolution is. Kids can be cruel. So don't be afraid of poking fun, but then cuddle the offending pet to show you don't mean it!

Now make them all BARK! Just put your hand round the tummy of a dag and gripping slightly, slide them your fingers back. Sometimes you need to lick your fingers first. The kids will do it! Chaotic noise for a while. And the grown-ups hate it!

STAGE 5 - FLY!

Let them experiment! Have felt tips handy. Black will do. Some will love adding stripes to the tiger, eyes, whiskers, whatever.

Point out that a giraffe is really a dog with a long neck. If they ask to make some four legged animal - ask them what it is about that animal that distinguishes it. Rabbits have big ears. As you get better you will know the extra twists to give cows lips, horses manes, etc. But for now, keep it simple. Two difficult ones are guinea pigs and dolphins. Have a round balloon ready and say it is an egg!

Show some more capable ones the PROFESSIONAL method using the three bubbles.
See how small an animal they can make with tiny bubbles.

By now some of them will have made swords, hats and goodness knows what else. Encourage one child to show another.

STAGE 6 - RAGNAROK

This is the END. Ask them to put their animals somewhere safe. I haven't found any way to identify them for home-time that is easy unless you want to write out a million labels. They could write them out, couldn't they? And all the ones that are left, the failures, the runts, the mutts. Well, lets not get too philosophical about this. Just ask them to BURST THEM!

EXTRAS

JOUSTING! Sword fights knocking off balloon hats. Two people, hat each (worn loosely) and sword. Either side of the room, they ride towards each other after the audience shout 'Ready, Steady, Go'. Hack at each other and ride on. Second time, the same. Third time they stand and fight til one hat gets knocked off. Music? William Tell - and they have to run like they're on a horse!

Mouse wars. They all make a FLYING MOUSE and see who can hit the ceiling. Best they don't fire them in people's faces.

RELAY RACES

Keeping a dozen (depends on the size of the group) round balloons all
OFF THE FLOOR - again, ideal if you play some music. Just straight fun..or..
MUSICAL BALLOONS - one for each child plus two extra so nobody is out straight away (I'm too soft, I know). They have to keep hitting then in the air. Each time the music stops - they grab one. You know the rest.

THERE WAS AN OLD LADY... <><><><><><><><><><><>< NOAH'S ARK

Surely it's time for tea now?

Send me your ideas and comments, please.
Read what you said here!